Winds of Fate Read online

  Now all she wanted to do was take a cold shower and get out of the heat of the day. When Sara came through the door of her home, her father asked. “Where the hell have you been?” Tired, angry and humiliated, she lashed out at him. “Don’t worry dad. You have me all pumped up with anti baby juice. There’s no reason for you to get all concerned now is there? I’m just your slut daughter coming home from a hard day of whoring.”

  “Sara!” Her mother gasped, “Since when did you start talking like that?”

  “Since no matter what I say or do, is ever going to be good enough. Mother, I have never done anything I was ashamed of and nothing to disgrace you or dad. I have always tried to do as you’ve asked. Then, some nasty mouthed boy with an ego bigger than his pecker tells a lie and suddenly I’m the talk of the town. Even my own parents don’t believe me. So you tell me mother, how should I talk?” She ran down the hall to her room and closed the door behind her. When her mother came to her door an hour later to let her know supper was ready, Sara said defiantly, “I’m not hungry.”

  “You have to eat, honey!”

  “Mom, the way I am feeling right now, I may never eat again.”

  “Please, baby, can we talk?”

  “What do we talk about mother? My virginity or the boys I am screwing?” Her mother walked away, tears forming in her eyes. When she returned to the kitchen, her husband looked up and asked. “She coming to dinner?”

  “No, she isn’t. And I have you to thank for that.”

  “How is this my fault?”

  “You could have trusted her for one thing! The girl is a 4.0 student, she is always where she says she will be, always home on time and has never given us a problem or a reason to believe she is anything other than what we raised her to be.”

  “And that boy that gave her the coat last winter?”

  “Oh, for God’s sake, he gave her a ride home after our son left her stranded there in a snow storm. The boy gave her a coat! That’s all!”

  “Is it? That was Senator Spanner’s son. Why, when he could have his pick of any girl in town would he be with Sara unless it was for something else?”

  “We don’t know that Henry!”

  “Then how come we haven’t seen him since then?” Martha tossed the casserole dish on the table and said, “Feed yourself.” Then went to the back of the house. She paused at her daughter’s door, put her hand against it, and then took it away. My poor sweet baby! What have we done to you? I should never have let Henry take you to the free clinic. But I was afraid, too! Fearful for your future and afraid you might be caught up in a crazy moment of carelessness that I let my own fear interfere with my common sense.

  Sara lay on her bed and tried to sleep, but the day’s events kept spinning in her head. All the voices and faces jumbled into a medley of disjointed, abrasive and thoughtless phrases: “Keep your whoring ass out of my store!”

  “I am sorry, but we have no openings for a person with your—qualifications.”

  “Honey I would love to help you out. Its not like we couldn’t use the extra help, but my boss would have my ass for breakfast if I hired you.”

  “Promise you will come by?”

  “You have beautiful hands.”

  “Slut, Whore, Tramp, Trailer trash!”

  “Hey, Easy, how about you hob my knob!”

  “I don’t have any openings . . . but maybe for fifty bucks you could—”

  Sara began to cry, “What did I do? Why is this happening to me?” Her mother knocked on the door and asked, “Honey are you okay?” She sat up and wiped her eyes. “Sure mom, just feeling a bit sorry for myself; I’ll survive! All I need to do is get a good night’s sleep and I’ll be okay.” She lay back down, closed her eyes and willed the voices to go away. At nine-thirty, she finally got up and put on her clothes, went out on the front stoop and looked up at the stars.

  Even the guidance councilor at school had made her feel like a sack of garbage. “You want to do what? Collage is out of the question.” She started to protest and he cut her off. “First of all you have no funds for collage, and to get a scholarship you have to have someone to sponsor you.”

  “Have you looked at my grades?” she asked. He looked down at her chart and his eyes widened. She was a 4.0 and had been since her freshman year. All of her senior year classes were collage prep courses. He flipped through several pages and read the comment, “Great potential!”

  “Outstanding work!”

  “Some of the best writing I have ever had the privilege of reading.”

  “This girl is going places!” He closed the folder. Then said, “I have to admit this is outstanding. But I’m afraid it is never going to happen, so you might as well get over it and get on with your life. There is no way you are going to get a scholarship. You just don’t have the qualifications.”

  “What does it take then?”

  “It would help if you weren’t such a—controversy”

  “I am not. But that doesn’t mean a thing, does it? The only truth here is that I come from the wrong side of the tracks. End of story.”

  “Sara, please understand, I only have so many scholarships to hand out, and I need to make the best of them. I can’t be throwing them away on some—”

  “Tramp?” she finished for him. “The truth is, Sir, I am better than anyone in this school. I have worked hard for my grades, so I could make something for myself, but that doesn’t matter to you, does it? All you see is some slut.” She stood up and started to leave. “Young lady sit down!”

  “Why? Are you going to help me? Can you get me into collage?” He shook his head slowly. “Then there is nothing to discuss is there? What have you got in that list of qualifications for me? Dishwasher, waitress, call girl? I’m leaving before I become physically ill and throw up on your desk.” She opened the door and paused a moment. Her shoulders slumped as she turned to look at him. There were tears in her eyes. It was then that he noticed how beautiful her eyes were. How incredibly beautiful she was. How could I have missed that?

  Sara blinked the tears back and said, “I know you are limited in what you can do. It isn’t your fault, it’s just that nobody in this town attempts to get at the truth because it’s just too easy to believe whatever, and react accordingly. I am sorry I blew up at you. I’m aware that you—and most of this school’s faculty—have more than just me to worry about. But at least you were willing to help me find work, and for that I thank you.”

  She shut the door and walked down the hall. If she could have seen through the door, she would have witnessed the guidance councilor opening her folder again. He studied the folder at length while thinking, did I really try? And if I did, why didn’t I know about her grades? “This isn’t right. And I’ll be damned if I let this pass without looking into it more closely. She is right, no one in this school comes close to her academic achievements. Then he saw her SAT scores 1600.”

  Once again, Sara looked up at the trillions of stars that spread across the moonless sky, then she pulled in a deep breath of cool night air and said. “It doesn’t matter what I do, or how good I am, as far as anyone cares I’m the town slut.” The guidance councilor was right; no collage would take her without some kind of financial support. Anything less than a full scholarship and there was no way she could possibly make it. Not even if she got a job as a waitress to make up the difference. All that hard work and study, and what for? So she could spend the rest of her life waiting on tables?

  She had tried to be the perfect daughter, and what had that earned her? Her own father wouldn’t even speak to her. While other girls were out partying and having a good time, she had been home studying. As far as boys were concerned, she hadn’t had time, not to mention that most of the boys in town were useless beer drinking, pot smoking morons.

  Other than Joey, there wasn’t a boy in town she would even consider talking to, much less date. She had wasted most of her life chasing a dream that was never going to come true. Tears began to roll down he
r cheeks without her realizing that she was crying again. She wiped at them in frustration. She stood up and the urge to scream into the night sky was so powerful that she felt it build in her throat, her heart and deep in the pit of her stomach. If I start screaming, I won’t be able to stop! I’ll just scream until my throat is raw and bloody then the people with the white coats will come to pick me up. She forced it down, but not the anger at defeat, somehow not screaming had made it worse. Why am I wasting my time? What is the use of working your ass off if nothing can come from it? So I can be the most educated person in the trailer park? What good is a 4.0 when all I am going to be doing is pushing out babies for some beer belly red neck? I am going nowhere; I have nothing and little or no prospect of ever becoming anything but what I am. A poor white girl from the Sayhey division.

  And there was the loneliness! The growing need to have someone touch her other than her parents. She had avoided that need for a higher cause, one that would take her to a better job and a better place. Now she wondered why. Why had she even thought that she could ever become anything other than what she was?

  Time to put away childish dreams and childish things! “Okay no one has to drop a house on me to get the message across. I am Easy. The town slut, and if that is what I am supposed to be, it’s about time to start acting my part.”

  She got up and walked down the gravel road to the entrance/exit gate of the trailer park. Instead of turning right as she usually did when walking off her pent up emotions, she turned left and walked toward town. At this time of night, most of the streets were empty except for a few cars out on last minute errands. She turned left on main, walked past the park, turned right and headed up Elm then left on Maple. At the end of Maple Street, she spotted the massive estate sitting on the large tract of well-groomed property. Nestled under the giant cotton wood trees at the far end of the property was the cozy looking adobe home.

  As if waking from a dream, Sara had to ask herself what she was doing here. Second thoughts, fear, and a lifetime of doing what was right halted her at the edge of eternity. “Do I really want to do this? And why Joey?”

  Because he is the only person you ever think about and the only person you want to be with. That’s why! What will he think of me when I come knocking at his door? More than likely, he is going to throw me out before I have a chance to say two words.

  Of all the people she didn’t want to make an adverse impression on, it was Joey. Because it would break all ties of hope, that’s why! Once you go there, there is no going back.

  I don’t care, for once I am going to choose! I may never be with him again, but it will be something. Won’t it? But Joey? Sweet, kind, beautiful Joey?

  The thought of seeing the hurt and disappointment in his eyes broke her heart. I can’t, not Joey. Not anyone! I am not that kind of girl! I don’t care what anyone thinks. I am not what they want me to be. This is stupid and so am I for thinking that I could do this! She turned around and started back toward her home. Thinking, if anything, the walk helped me to shake the frustration and the pent up energy out of my system.

  She recognized the Chevy instantly as belonging to Rick Foster; he was the kind of trouble she had spent most of her life trying to avoid. If she had been in the Sayhey district, where she knew the area and the quickest place to hide, where streetlights are one per block, and most of them burned out, she might not have been seen. But this was the upper section of town, here the streetlights are ornamented with four-lamp post lighting up every block, and city workers were quick to change bulbs when they went out.

  The car coasted up to her and Rick leaned out the window. “Well, if it isn’t Easy. So what are you doing up this end of town? Looking for a better brand of clientele?” She shook her head, then in a quiet voice said, “Just out walking trying to get the kinks out of my head.”

  When she looked in the car, she saw Mike Hastings and Leone Reyes were with him. All these guys were bad news and had police records. Leone had been in prison for assault and drug dealing.

  Leon got out of the car on the passengers’ side and walked around to her left side. “Hell girl, we got the answer for that. Just step into our office and we can make all of your worries go away.”

  She stepped back and said, “No thanks, I was just going home.”

  Rick opened his door and got out on her right side, “What’s your hurry? Isn’t like any of us have any place to go. Now is there? So what you say? A little fun, a little candy to make the world go away?” Leone was grinning like a wolf with a cornered rabbit. He reached down and began to rub his crotch, sucked air between his teeth and rolled his eyes saying, “Baby! I got what you need right here and it’s all warmed up and ready to go.”

  Sara looked at Rick and Leon then saw Mike working his way around Leone trying to get behind her. She looked at Rick and suddenly became angry. “There is nothing I want or need from any of you, so what ever you have in mind you can forget it. It isn’t going to happen.”

  Rick laughed, “Who says we need your permission? Huh bitch? Just who the FUCK says we need permission?” She remembered the few times when her older brother had made time for her and his saying, “Never try and kick a dude in the nuts. Guys know that is a sensitive spot and they look for someone to smash em. So kick the cracker head in the knee, wait until all his weight is on that foot and kick hard!”

  Sara waited and when Rick reached for her all his weight went to his right leg, she kicked as hard as she could. Her foot connected with his knee and he went down almost instantly. She didn’t wait to see what kind of damage she had done, she just ran.

  “Jesus fucking Christ! The fucking bitch broke my leg! Damn! Oh, fuck that hurts! Get that whore and cut her fucking throat!”

  Sara heard footsteps behind her and she doubled her effort, running back the direction she had came, right back to the big house at the end of the street. When she reached the property, she ran across the grounds weaving among the hedges and well-groomed trees. Leone called to Mike who was slightly ahead of him. “Hold it!” Mike skidded to a stop and looked at him. “Ain’t we going after her?”

  “Nope.”

  “Why not?” Leone pointed to the surveillance cameras mounted decorative poles. “That’s why not. How long do you think it would take them to figure out what happened? Those aren’t rent a cops watching that house. They are retired Secret Service, FBI and as far as I know CIA agents working as security. Do you really want to get caught raping a girl on the property of a Senator?”

  Leone grinned, “For a little bit of fluff, she has some brass to her. Let her go. Rick is a jackass anyway.”

  Sara hid in the shadows of the trees and brush and waited until she heard the doors of the car close and its tires squeal on the pavement as they drove away. Ten minutes passed before she came out of the brush, she stood looking first one way and then the other. Walking at night had never frightened her, for as long as she could remember she had always enjoyed the night and the solitude it provided her, now she looked down Maple Street and fear threaded its way through her spine. She looked toward the cottage feeling as much apprehension there as there was venturing back out onto the street.

  Instinctively she knew that Joey provided protection and a safe place, while the streets were now dangerous. She was lucky tonight, Rick hadn’t been expecting her to fight back and she caught him off guard. But, what about the next time or the time after that? She looked down Maple Street, and then she looked at the cottage among the cottonwood trees.

  My decision, my life. If this is what it’s going to be, then at least I am going to have one night that belongs to me! I don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring, but tonight I am going where someone at least cares about me.

  Time to put away silly dreams, and silly thoughts. “Schools out!” This is the real world. And in the real world, the good guys don’t win. Love and happiness with Joey? What does Joey really want from me? He is a senator’s son, his family is known around the world. And me? I am a
girl from the Sayhey division.

  Come on Sara! What do you think a boy like that wants? Any attraction you think you see is just a daydream concocted in your own imagination. He doesn’t even know me! He’s just another Rick. Sure, his approach is a bit subtler, but in the end, it is going to be the same. Sara, getting screwed.

  He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t even know you---

  But I love him! There! Now you have admitted it, you love him. Foolish, unreasonable and childish but true! I am going to have a million regrets in my life. But for once I am going where I want to be and stay with someone that I love, even if he doesn’t return it, at least he is nice to me.